I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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