shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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