good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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