You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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