you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
