please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
