She is in my trunk
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
