I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
