we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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