what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he thought i was a dude.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize