i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
