Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
