is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
