yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize