There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
