i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize