i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
