i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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