Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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