Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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