plz talk dirty to me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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