she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it's like iHOP with fire
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
