rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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