i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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