I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
