C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
