Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
