whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
