I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just cut my nipple shaving
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
