thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
