Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
