he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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