I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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