At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize