DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
