my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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