Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's like iHOP with fire
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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