Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
