remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
