I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
