I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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