I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
