You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
