Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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