Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
vagina is talking i cant
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
