my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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