we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
