spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
