i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
pray to the hookup gods
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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