anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
