Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
