I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
