D3 body, D1 cock
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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