Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
