Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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