You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
