the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
