no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
