he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
